


Crumbling

by CaffeinatedMermaid



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Character Death, Dragon Age II Quest - All That Remains Spoilers, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 04:37:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21422305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedMermaid/pseuds/CaffeinatedMermaid
Summary: Merrill comforts Hawke following All That Remains.I wanted to add to this scene given that Merrill is one of the  more empathetic characters and she is the only one who checks in on Hawke about the fate of his sibling at the beginning of Act 2. Also the lack of Hawke x Merrill content bothers me.
Relationships: Male Hawke/Merrill
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	Crumbling

**Author's Note:**

> -note that Bethany is alive but in the circle 
> 
> I haven't written for fun in years but it felt great to get back at it. Comments/thoughts welcome

Merrill paused in the doorway and leaned into the frame as she stared into the room at Hawke. He sat on the edge of the bed, hunched over with his hands knotted in his hair; it hung loose and tangled as if he had been tearing at it in wild anger. Time seemed to stand still; the room was quite except for the dying fire. He always kept it burning strong in case she came by. For the first time in his home the stone was cold beneath her bare feet. 

Merrill knew Hawke as a warrior and leader. He fought with a kind of chaotic grace that caused others to cower in his shadow. He dedicated that skill to protecting his family, but they were all gone now, and so was the warrior. Before her was something hollow. Rigid and unmoving, he looked as though he could crumble into his own hands. 

With soft steps she padded from the doorway toward him, “Hawke?” She spoke with a question in her tone, giving him the option to turn her away if he wished. She moved around the bed to face him where he sat on the edge. He sat frozen, eyes wide and unblinking. She knelt down in front of him and rested a hand on his cheek. 

“Hawke,” she said again, drawing him from his trance. Her hand was cool against his burning face. He lifted his head and his gaze met hers. Merrill felt her face furrow and her heart ached as she looked into the eyes of a lost child. 

“Merrill...” her name came out in a whimper as his eyes rimmed with tears. In that moment Merrill rose to her feet as she wrapped her other arm around him and cradled his head against her as she placed herself next to him on the bed. “Merrill,” he said again in a cracked sob. He leaned into her and clung to her arms around him “I... I was too slow,” he spoke through choked cries, “I should’ve gotten to her faster.” 

Merrill ran her fingers through his tangled hair while holding him close. She felt his whole-body trembling, continuing to stroke his hair she rocked him back and forth. She moved with the softness of a lullaby, trying to lull him into some kind of comfort. He turned his head into her chest and his tears pressed into her clothes. “I have always been too slow.” The words came out in a whisper. “He made me swear.”

Too much. Merrill thought to herself as he clung to her while she rocked. His family expected too much. She shut her eyes and pressed her nose into the top of his head, he smelled of dirt and sweat from their dive into the foundry but she kept him close. Family was supposed to work together, but Hawke worked alone even while his family lived.  
Shifting in the silence Hawke broke away from her hold and his voice twisted in anger as he grasped Merrill by the shoulders, fisting his fingers into the fabric of her tunic. He looked like a man gone mad, shaking with desperation and anguish in his eyes that burned red. Merrill placed her hands on his arms to steady his trembling as he shouted, “He made me swear to take care of them!” 

His head dropped once more and wild hair fell around his face, his chest heaved and he gasped for air in the midst of sobs. “He made me swear to take care of them and I’ve lost them all.” His arms fell from Merrill’s shoulders and he threaded his hands back into his hair, pushing his face into the bed as he repeated to himself, “I lost them all. I lost them all. I wasn’t enough.” 

Merrill reached out for him, taking his face in both hands and stared at him with large green eyes that knew so much more than the others gave her credit for. “No,” she spoke with a hard tinge in her tone, a commanding conviction that she communicated to few.

Swiping her fingers across his cheeks to clear away the tears she pulled him to her once more. Tucked against her chest she nuzzled her cheek to the top of his head as she stroked his face. “There is no one in this world who could look at you and say you didn’t give everything you had.” 

The confirmation struck him, and he fell into her completely, finally breaking. Sobs racked his whole body and shattered in the air. “I can’t do this,” he choked. “I can’t do this Merrill.” His voice trailed off in a high-pitched squeak. With her hand against his cheek she pressed him closer to her chest as if feeling her steady breaths might help him breathe. “You will,” she whispered. She didn’t present him with an option. They both knew he didn’t have one and there was no comfort in lies. He clutched at her other arm while she stroked his face. “But I have you. I have you, Vehnan.” Her voice was cool and soft like water and her words washed over him, ebbing his thoughts out of darker places that told him he was alone. 

She knew this pain was mixed with years of holding off his own needs for the sake of his family. Merrill wondered how long it had been since he had allowed himself to cry? How long had it been since anyone held him? Hawke was a man who spent his life fiercely holding his family together. He was a man who carried too many things, lost hold of them all, and now he was coming apart. With Hawke curled into her arms, in that dark cold room, Merrill made a silent vow to hold him together.


End file.
